Gone Too Soon.

February 18, 2011

Goodbye 4 Loko, we had just been acquainted,

When at some frat party in Washington, your good name was tainted,

So not living up to their namesake

My eyes are red with your departure, because I have cried,

When I remember how many times with you, I have almost died,

Like that one time we tried to impress at a party, a girl so aloof,

You talked me into taking off my shirt, and yelling at her from her roof,

Though it was a bad plan, as the Reno Police Department will attest,

She did go out with me later, despite the arrest,

And I loved all your flavors, especially Cranberry Lemonade and melon,

Even if you made me act, like a borderline felon,

Maybe playing Loko pong, was a poor plan conceived,

But the weight of the girl I hooked up with that night, had to be seen to be believed,

Hey it happens, and I don’t mean to be rude,

But she looked like Adam Richman will, after season 12 of Man Vs. Food,

Although reflecting on it I’m still mad, that you got that girl laid,

I feel like I had sex wit Ursula, from The Little Mermaid,

Ironically, she had a mermaid lower back tat

And now that I think about it, I don’t think I wore a rubber,

Either that or it slipped off, in her layers of blubber,

She could be pregnant, now I’m starting to freak,

Maybe we should be done with you, like with James Van Der Beek,

Yeah, we're definitely done here

And my friends no longer answer, when I ring them on the telly,

b/c apparently you made me fill their USB ports, with spoonful’s of jelly,

And one more lingering issue we have, that’s stuck in my craw,

But what happened November 11th, and how’d I end up in Utah?

As I think about our time together, I become filled with anger,

Maybe you should be banned, for you truly are a danger,

And another thing, for which was a huger stress-er,

Under your influence, I pooped in a box and mailed it to my Accounting professor,

….Actually, you know what that was hilarious.  Awwwww I can’t stay mad at you 4Loko.

For no matter how you ruined my life,

Alienated my friends, and filled me with strife,

I’ll never speak against you again, not even a peep,

Because for 7 straight months, you got me super drunk, super fast, super cheap.

Sleep Well Sweet (Fresh) Prince.

Homecoming at Nevada is really one of the best times of the year.  Also, in a stroke of cleverness the HC Crew has picked Dr. Seuss as the theme.  In honor of Homecoming and psychedelically colored anthropomorphic animals (our two favorite things) we have written this poem about the most wonderful time of the year:

KC-Screen-Ad

October is passing and Homecoming is here,

Pour out the Blue Thunder and let out a cheer

Midterms are coming and you really should study

But instead you’re cigarette bumming saying fuck books

Kapernick’s running and Kapernick’s throwing

The frats are float building and way over bro-ing

Thetas hate Tri-Delts and Tri-Delts hate Thetas

Although to 85% of this campus that’s just useless data

At the talent show Sigma Kappa grins cheek to cheek

While most apathetic students just think its free burger week

People don’t care, and perhaps they have reason,

After all it is almost snowboarding season,

But there are some of us that do, and for this we rejoice

We’ll be the ones in the student section, bringing the noise,

So go ahead and be oblivious, let the good times pass,

Just know it’s like walking by Shakira, and not scoping her ass (so pointless)

Wolves are a hopping and wolves are a skipping,

Vandals are heaving their tears are all dripping

And it’s not cuz they’re sneeches without stars on their breeches

Not cuz they’re road leeches or some kind of who-peaches

They know they’re going down and the reason’s a cinch

It’s because they’re Christmas, and we’re the mutha-fuckin’ Grinch

Go Pack.