Hey.  How ya doin?  Oh what you’re just chilling in the library right now studying for some final and doing all the homeworks you put off doing this semester b/c you were too busy playing Words With Friends? Yeah, us too.  The Library is a fickle place come finals time.  Theoretically it is the best place to get work done, but realistically everyone is there and it’s kind of a marvy scene.  Fun fact: during finals, the Knowledge center becomes one of the 10 most populous cities in Nevada.  Move over Goldfield.  Anyway, to commemorate this time-honored struggle that takes place between studying and procrastination that takes place here every spring, The Nevada SpaceSuit presents to you: The Things You Did In The Library  Today When You Should Have Been Studying.

1.  Spent 20-30 minutes getting “situated” and “ready to study” (BS by the way, we both know you could’ve started right away and actually got something done before 11:00).

2. Saw someone you haven’t seen in forever one floor up. Thought about going to say hi, decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

3. Watched people out that window for no less than 13 minutes. Hopefully you were making up their conversations in your head.

4. Spent way too much thought trying to figure out how bad for you those Funyuns were before finally deciding they could be 1,000 calories each and you still would take it over the salad in the weirdo coffee shop in the Library.  From there you’ll ponder further and wonder why the university decided to put its only two decent coffee shops within 50 feet of each other.  Solid business model there guys, it’s so weird we’re losing money….



5. Watched a group of 6 huge football players take a lap of every floor, talk to everyone they know, and then leave.

6. Every quiz ever on Facebook. And 3-4 tweets every 20 minutes about how #finalzsux

7. Played the eye contact game with the cute girl three tables away. Eventually you made eye contact too many times and it crossed the line from flirty to rapester-y.

8. Make a fort out of binders, folders and texts books

9. Think about just walking out right now, leaving your books. Try to convince yourself how much you would really like life as a trucker.

10. Wish you weren’t so hungover from  cinco de mayo.

11. Trying to figure out why Colin Kaepernick STILL hasn’t called. That vision board sucks.

BETRAYAL!!!!


12. Thinking how cool it’d be if you had that remote from “Click” so you could just fast forward the next 7 days.

13. Not really. Why don’t you just fast forward through your whole college career while you’re at it.

14. Got to the end of the latest NSS article and think two things: 1. Wow, they actually made it 300 words without making a Home Alone 2: Lost In New York Joke.  And 2. Well that could have been funnier, good thing this ish is free. Merry Studies you filthy animal (ratta-tat-tat).

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A. We took 3 weeks off to honor the 2043rd anniversary of the death of Julius Caesar on the Ides of March

B. Kicked in the juke box at the Wal and have been working two jobs to pay it off.

C.  Following my father’s diary in a quest for the Holy Grail with my friends Salah and Marcus.

D. I had custody of my 3 illegitimate children.

E.  Caring way too much about the ASUN election.

F. Chat Roulette.

G. We were detained in Cancun for charges we can’t legally mention without an attorney present.

H. Following the Nevada Basketball team in all of their post season endeavors.  Oh wait, that was over two weeks ago…never mind.

I. Carefully analyzing health care reform.  Wait you see through my lies?  Ok I found my old Sega Genesis and got really lost in Sonic 2.

J. Building a vision board so that Colin Kaepernick will talk to me JUST ONCE

K. Going through every possible 775 number and texting “Hey Kap”.  I’m going to get the right one eventually. Yes, two devoted to my love of Kap.

L.  Rehab.

M. Spending my time as the only white kid in “The Center”

N. Because we’re lazy and we didn’t want to do it.  What are you gonna stop paying us to entertain you?

O. Following Justin Beiber around America. Hellooooo Beiber Fever.

P. Crying about Reno’s crazy weather patterns on my FB page. Oh wait, that was you. And it’s really annoying.  SO STOP.

R.  Busy getting sexually assaulted by Ben Rothlesberger

S. Longest. Pee. Ever

T. Storing up on Peeps and Shamrock Shakes. Those bitches are only come around once a year.

U.  Using Foursquare to become the mayor of the Wal.

V. Non-stop push ups.  I’m now the butchiest girl on campus.

W. Ummm…. would I lose all my street cred if I said homework?

X. Getting all my eating in.  If I wanna be skinny by summer the anorexia has to start now.

Y. Waxing this guy’s counters and painting his fences.  I know it seems like a waste of a month, but if it really does help me take down those mother fuckers at Cobra Chai it will all be worth it.

Z. Marathoning the first 6 seasons of Full House.  And if that’s a crime you can call me a violent repeat offender.