Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 18):

We know you’ve been wondering and yes, you will still be “popular” enough  next year to get into the student section at football games even though you don’t go to school anymore. Let go already.


Taurus (April 20-May 20):

Look you’re never gonna be famous.  Save us all the trouble and don’t move to LA for 5 years to “spread your art”.  Just cut out the middle man, apply to be the assistant manager at Chili’s and develop a minor drug problem.

Pisces (February 19-March 20):

Well, you’ll gain two things on graduation day. One, is your degree – the other – is a DUI and Mugshot Graduation photo. Thought you were gonna be one of the lucky ones that got  through your whole college experience with out one? Too bad.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22):

I don’t know.  Captain of a shrimp boat?  Due to the continuing oil spill this is now impossible.  New advice, Become an oil spill insurance salesman.  People are freaked out right now,  strike while the iron is hot.

Cancer (June 21-July 22):

Graduation will be the hardest for you.  You partied harder and had more fun than the Leos and the Geminis combined.  But every ride has to end sometime.  Have fun adjusting to the real world.  Out there, you’re just another short guy with a liberal arts degree.

Libra (Sept 23- Oct. 22):

Hellooooo post-college depression.

Gemini (May 21-June 20):

A fast paced life of excitement awaits you in marvelous New York City!  There you’ll be living the life, riding the…. ah who are we kidding.  You’re gonna marry your gf, knock her up and stay in Reno.  It’s cool. Maybe when you’re 40 the weather will get nice.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21):

So you failed accounting?  Well good thing you’re hot and can marry a rich guy.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21):

You’ll be mauled and eaten by a brood of alligators.  Don’t blame me I’m just the messenger…

Aries (March 21-April 19):

You haven’t found a job yet and you’re certainly not going to find one in the next 3 days.  You’re gonna have to move back home.  Fair warning, hearing your roommate have sex through the wall the last 3 years has not prepared you for hearing your mom give it up to her new boyfriend Stephon.  Fucking Stephon.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sept. 22):

Grad school huh? Just an FYI- not as  drunkenly irresponsible as undergrad.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 20):

Scorpio just wants your money but go with it.  She’s hot.

Basketball Players (Jan 1-Dec 31)

Oh wait never mind.  None of you stick around long enough to graduate.  Again have fun in Germany.


Oh and you’ll all get fat.  Congratulations Everybody!

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100 DAYS ‘TIL GRADUATION!

February 4, 2009

Thursday, February 5 marks exactly 100 days until graduation on May 16, 2009.

It’s an exciting time, we know. (Especially if you got out of here in four years).  Now, in honor, celebration and hell, for tradition’s sake, we demand something of our senior class of 2009.

(You bitches that graduate in December DO NOT COUNT).

We call on you, seniors of the University of Nevada, to join us on Thursday night to get rick rolled at the Breakaway as we count down ….

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100 DAYS ‘TIL GRADUATION!

Visit the facebook event page…

http://www.facebook.com/s.php?k=100000004&id=65572836696&gr=4&a=7&sf=p&sid=85f7cee2e805db8b8a0ef75933c69635&act=2659615769&_ecdc=false&n=-1&o=4&hash=b9e239438e703ec1189db0ca2a09e037&s=50#/event.php?eid=65572836696