So I find myself sitting in the Joe on this fine Thursday afternoon getting my stuff ready for my group meeting tonight at 5:00 (yes I’m having a group meeting during the evening of St. Patrick’s Day, apparently they don’t have this holiday in Russia so my partner isn’t too concerned about it.  Man I’m glad we won the Cold War).  Anyway as I’m sitting here I’m noticing that to my left there are two people, a boy and a girl, just living it up Narnia style in a game of World of Warcraft.  To my right there is a guy who is just as, if not more, sucked into his Facebook screen.  It strikes me that both of these groups are wasting an afternoon being distracted from their homework by computer applications, yet what one of them is doing is 1000% more socially acceptable.  But I’m not sure that’s true, in fact here’s a whole Top 10 list of reasons that might not be:

1. I know that the argument would be, “well at least people on facebook are talking to their friends” but so are the Warcraft people, in fact not only are they talking, but they’re planning complex raids with their friends.  I would argue that the Warcraft thing is more intimate; we know that going through trying experience brings people closer together, that seems like much more of a friend-builder than the low level stalking involved in liking half the pictures in someone’s “Drunk-Daze” Album.
2. You can actually w n in Warcraft, with FB you just run out of stuff to check.  How many days do you walk away from a 3 hour FB sesh thinking “well there’s something accomplished, put that one on the CV”?  In Warcraft you can probably kill a giant or get a cape that makes you look more like Orlando Bloom or some shit.  It may not be much but its something.
And as for the dating scene FB offers I have two points:
3. Plenty of Orc warriors have married Elven mages in the last 3 years at their own freaky cos-play wedding ceremonies.  I’d actually bet a higher number of Warcraft based relationships last than Facebook ones do.  Because FBships are based on hotness and DTF estimations, Warcraft’s are more based on “oh shit there’s a girl who’s in to this?  Well I better lock this up now or my name isn’t DwarfNoobKilla69.”

The Best Man

4. You’re less likely to be raped and/or murdered by someone you meet on Facebook as they’ll be more physically fit and able to pursue you than someone you meet on a Warcraft server (no one who spends hours a day trying to find a Pegasus to ride around will be fast enough to catch you)
a. Counter point: the people you meet on Facebook will almost most certainly be hotter due to this same reasoning.
5. You can sell your high-level Warcraft characters for hundreds of dollars.  No one wants your worthless profile.
6. You don’t have to worry about identity theft in Warcraft. Criminals are wayyyy more interested in your name, address, and date of birth than they are in your enchanted nunchucks (do they have nunchucks in Warcraft?  If not they really should.  Maybe get lightsabers too, just bring all of their loves together).
7. Neither said “bless you” I sneezed just now.  Both are apparently rude.
8. Potential employers won’t check your Warcraft profile to see if you’re hireable.

Hmmmm.... May not be management material....

9. In the most famous movie ever about Facebook, the main character was a total dick.  In the most famous movie about wizards and goblins and all that crap, the main character’s only real crime was being a little too in love with the kid from “Rudy”.

When that lovable black janitor told you to "follow your heart" he may not have guessed that your heart was telling you to butt fuck Elijah Wood.

10, It took me about 45 minutes to write this list, and even as I type this final point both groups are still doing what they were when I sat down here to do homework (hopefully my group wasn’t expecting huge things tonight).  The point is, we may think of people who play online games as being nerdy and wasting all of their time in a fantasy world, but is it that much different than Facebook.  I mean the dude to my definitely has a fantasy world where he’s hanging out with this redheaded broad named Molly who’s page he’s been on for the last 20 minutes.

Now we’re not saying that Warcraft is cool or that Facebook is for losers.  By that definition the writers of this blog would be a cross between Napoleon Dynamite and the goth chick from “The Breakfast Club” and it should be obvious from our writing style that if we relate to anyone in those movies its Pedro and Emillo Estevez respectively.  All we’re trying to say is that both waste time, not that that’s a bad thing, wasting time is awesome.  I mean, if you weren’t wasting time why you have read this?  Because Warcraft players are people too, paler, more introverted people, but still people.  Hell, if being pale and introverted discounted someone from being a person I’m pretty sure Canada’s population would drop down to like 17.

The President and Vice President of Canada. Also owns the only general store.