How To: Incorporate Cinco De Mayo into Dead Day

May 5, 2010

Whether you find it a blessing or a curse (much like my period most months) Dead Day 2k10 is on Cinco de Mayo. Some of you have the freedom to get completely annihilated all day long because you’re still in English 098 or your professors are total hippies. Well some of us don’t have that luxury. So for those of you who can’t celebrate one of the holiest of drunk holidays, we’re gonna help you out. How to incorporate the Cinco de Mayo fun into your dead day.

Numero Uno: Bring your blender to the library. Mix your Red Bull with a little tequila and put sugar (or adderall) on the lid. Muy Bueno.

Numero Dos: If you don’t already, refer to Manzanita Lake as Lake Titicaca for the day. (OK so it’s not in Mexico, but it made you giggle)

Numero Tres: When you see somebody doing homework, swoop in and take their work, doing it faster and cheaper.

Numero Quatro: Wear a Mexican flag as a cape and scream      “viva la Mexico!”     during the undie run

Numero Cinco: Consider the historical ramifications of the small Mexican force holding off the mighty French army at the battle of Pueblo. J/K , don’t ask why it’s here, just enjoy that it is here.

Numero Seis: Grow a mustache. (Boys or girls)

Numero Siete: Show up three turbo Coronas deep and in a sombrero to all your study groups

If you can combine numbers 6 & 7 please do

Numero Ocho: Cross out Irish on all your St. Patrick’s day stuff and write Mexican.  Because what is Cinco De Mayo really except Mexican St. Patricks’ day? The only difference is this one doesn’t have a pretentious color scheme.

Numero Nueve: Make a Mexican Mariachi Band music playlist on your iPod. The sound of the maracas are mesmerizing

Numero Dias: When randomly hooking up with some rando in the library to relieve some of the tension of this f&^*$in’ calculus test, use the rhythym method instead of a condom in honor or our neighbors to the south and their religiously happy-go-lucky approach to contraception.

Numero Oncé: Lean Like A Cholo

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