It’s finally happened.  Our increasingly inept Governor and the state congress that doesn’t have the spine to propose BASIC INCOME TAXES THAT 47 OTHER STATES HAVE during a time when the state was almost $900 million short in revenues.  (PS If you want the funny stuff, now would be the time to skip ahead and scroll down). This is the equivalent of not having enough money to buy your kids food, but then skipping the extra shift your boss offered you because you think if you work too much your kids will be mad.   The kids won’t be mad!  They’ll understand!  All kids want is chicken nuggets!  The level of incompetence in this state’s leadership is at an all time high.  Don’t believe us?  Check out the list of programs that are on the chopping block (at least half of these are gone).

The following degrees would be reviewed for potential closure:

  • Bachelor’s degrees in animal science and animal biotechnology, the minor in animal science and the master’s in animal science
  • Bachelor’s degrees in agricultural and applied economics, the minor in agribusiness, the bachelor’s degree in environmental and resource economics, the minor in natural resource and environmental economics, and the master’s and doctorate in resource economics
  • Master’s degrees in all education counseling fields, education· specialist, and teaching English to students of other languages in the College of Education, as well as all doctorate-level degrees in the College of Education
  • Minor, major and master’s degree programs in German studies, French and Italian through the Department of Foreign Languages and Literatures
  • Bachelor’s degree in interior design
  • Doctorate degrees in anthropology, history and political science, master’s degree in philosophy and master’s degree in speech communication
  • Bachelor’s degree in supply chain management
  • Bachelor’s degree in statistics and a master’s degree offering with a statistics concentration.

And oh yeah, also the entire college of CABNR!  An entire college?  But we’re still building a new math and science building in the south of campus?  Sure why not.  Anyway, we’re upset, and frankly you should be too.  These decisions are going to cripple this state in the short and long terms.  But maybe you, our precocious and intrepid reader, don’t see just how bad these cuts were?  Well fear not revered companion, to put this decision in perspective, we here at the NSS offer you:

Decisions that made more sense than the budget cuts (enjoy)

a.  Deciding not to try to avoid that iceberg and just power through.  I mean hell, the Titanic’s unsinkable right?

b. Jake picking Vienna last night on the bachelor.  She’s at least hot and has that crazy look that I kind of dig.  I don’t dig anything about cutting Supply Chain Management.

c. Pete Best quitting the Beatles in 1961.

d. Chamberlain making concessions to Hitler.

e. Bill Clinton scoping his interns  and thinking “It’s not like anybody would find out”

f. Staying with that girl for so long after she introduced you to her 8 cats and told them you were going to be their “Daddy”.

g.  The series of decisions that led to the Halle Berry “Catwoman” movie.

h.The professor in the class I’m in right now waking up one morning and saying, “You know what?  From now on, only Tommy Bahama shirts.  I just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore.”

i. Saved by the Bell “The College Years”

Courtesy of ShareTV.ORG

j. Me asking for a Dreamcast instead of an N64 back in ’99.

k.  Rita Revolta deciding against attacking say Washington D.C. or Tokyo in favor of sending monsters down to Angel Grove every week (which apparently she was convinced was a big military strategic point for the U.S.)

l.. Getting pregnant on purpose so your boyfriend would stay with you. A baby fixes everything!

m. Blaming McDonalds for America’s rapid obesity rates, when  it’s clearly Michael Jordan’s fault.

n. Tilikum, the largest whale in captivity deciding to drag and drown his SeaWorld trainer in front of a bunch of little kiddies and basically euthanizing himself.

o. Majoring in music and thinking everything’s gonna turn out fine…    (You know what? Nevermind.  Their program didn’t get cut.  Maybe they’re smarter then we all thought.  Hats off to you guy who thinks majoring in French Horn is a better plan than just getting started on your career at Red Robin now).

p. Electing Jim Gibbons.

q. Jesus letting Judas into his crew.

r. Betting my tuition money on the Nevada v. SMU Bowl Game.

s. Fox canceling Family Guy and Arrested Development so they’d have more room in their lineup for gems like Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Titus.

t.  The Power Ranger’s decision to not just get the Mega Zord out right away.  They’ve suffered so many explosions on their chests and allowed, what at this point has to be billions of dollars in property damage, all due to their prideful reluctance to just get out the power sword 5 seconds into every fight.  Hey Jason, we get that you can do a lot of flips and they’re awesome, but how about you just save the town and then we can all watch you do karate down at the highschool/rec center/ juicebar/ whatever the hell that place is exactly where you all hang out.

u. Putting your dick in a blender

v.  Graham-Leach-Bliley de-regulating financial boundaries and encouraging institutions to over-lerverage themselves on high-risk subprime mortgage security bundles…Oh wait no one understands what that means?

Okay, then how about Aladdin not freeing the Genie when he said he would and letting Jafar steal the lamp.

w.  Parents who let their kids get into competitive luge(assuming these parents don’t hate their children and want them to die, if they do want them to die then this is a great move).

x. Looking at the young, hilarious Co-Co O’brien and thinking “Nah you know what though?  At least 15 people in America think Jay Leno’s funny.  Yeah he may be almost 60, but I really want to see when that weird black spot on his head finally goes white.  Screw it, let’s keep him.”

y. Britney Spears going with a winner like K-Fed instead of Justin Timberlake.

z. Mary-Todd Lincoln pushing so much to go to the theater instead of agreeing to just staying in, renting a movie and ordering Chinese food.

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